Today Why?

Today I am 53. It is hard to believe that I have made it this far. I have raised two magnificent daughters who are the best gift God could have ever given me.

Today I am in pain. I have been struggling with the effects of my multiple health issues for ten years now. Yet everyday for some reason yet to be revealed I still wake up to another day of pain and perserverence. Why?

Today I am in pain. I have been trying to no avail to get rid of this pain, it simply refuses to go away. Why?

What is the reason for this never ending challenge? What did I do that warrents this type of judgement? I often try to simply smile and keep putting one foot in front of the other even though I do not know my purpose anymore. Why?

I’m not sure I want this fight anymore, yet I do not have the strength I think one needs to call it quits permanently. For one and this is by far the main reason is because I couldn’t stand knowing for all eternity the pain it would cause my beautiful girls. I have to find the will and the strength to continue. Where do I find it?

Today I am 53 and I do not know why I’m still here.

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