Are you aware that October is NDVA month?

*****The following may be a trigger to some please be aware********

 

 

~National Domestic Violence Awareness~ Month

NDVA

*Caution reading this post may trigger issues for survivors*

 

One of the moments of my childhood that stands out in my mind occured when I was around 6. It was the Christmas holidays and my parents had family and friends over. It had seemed as though everyone was having a good time, beers were being drank, whiskey was mixed with eggnog all was good, until it wasn’t. Something happened that made my father angry and he and my mom started arguing. Within minutes this disagreement became extreme. He hit her over and over and it didn’t matter that people were around. My dad’s youngest brother attempted to intervene and was graced with a black eye for his trouble and he left. Actually everyone left, no one tried to intervene again, they just left, no police were called nothing. The next day my father who was a truck driver left for work and my mom gathered up my sister and I and a few cloths called my Uncle, the one who had tried to help, and we went to a motel. We stayed away from our house for two weeks, and then we were back home and life continued.

These events occurred over and over, only my mom never tried to leave again. One of the worst times happened when I was around 15, it was summer time and my father always took a week off and we generally went camping and fishing. We were on our way to a lake in eastern New Mexico called Conchase, my sister and I were riding in the overhead camper and my parents were in the cab of the truck. Thru the window in between the truck cab and camper we saw that they were fighting. Dad was punching her, and then he picked up his steel coffee thermos and began hitting her in the head with it. He then slammed on the brakes coming to a stop in the middle of the road atop a bridge overpass, got out went around to the passenger side opened up the door and drug her out onto the blacktop where he continued to punch, kick and slap her around. My sister and I are standing behind the truck screaming and crying for him to stop. I was terrified he was gonna kill her. People who came upon the scene simply kept driving! Once his rage was placated he picked her up off the road, pushed her up into the camper and told us girls to get her cleaned up. He then got back into the truck and drove to the first rest station he found, pulled in and parked, got out and proceeded to pass out on top of a picnic table for a couple of hours.  Meanwhile my mom was in bad shape, and was barely conscious, my sister and I did what we could for her and I prayed for the best. When dad woke up we got back on the road and headed to the campgrounds we were to stay at. My Uncle, his girlfriend and my cousin arrived the next day. Mom did her best to cover her bruises and black eye with makeup (which she never wore) but you could tell she was hurt. She told everyone that she had gotten up in the night to go to the bathroom and fell as she was trying to leave the camper. I to this day don’t think anyone believed her, but no one said or did anything about it.

This is the life within which I grew up.

#DomesticViolenceAwareness; National Domestic Abuse Hotline 1-800-799-SAFE(7233) TTY 1-800-787-3224

Are you involved in an abusive relationship?

  1. Has you domestic partner ever pushed or shoved you, hit you, beat or strangled you, forced you to have unconsented sex?
  2. Is your partner possessive and constantly demanding to know your every move?
  3. Is He or She jealous of your other relationships with family and friends and therefore does their best to isolate you?
  4. Does your significant other criticize and put you down frequently?
  5. Are you the one they blame for their violent outbursts?

In the event your answer is yes to any or all of these questions please contact the number above

People will stay in these types of relationships for various reasons some being…

  • The shared life they have- marriage, children, finances these are the biggest reasons
  • It is far more dangerous to leave. Women are 70 times more likely to be killed in the weeks after leaving then during the course of the entire relationship.
  • Cycle of Abuse- “Honeymoon phase” that follows each abusive occurrence, which makes the abussed believe that the abuser is sorry and really does love them.
  • The abused persons self esteem is totally destroyed.
  • The person who is abusing you has you convinced that everything that happens is your fault.

Well I am going to stop here for now. This is a tough subject and I still have unsavory reactions to these memories. I’ll be back in a day or two with additional information.

Between now and then, I am hoping that each of you are as well as you can be, that your day has been a great one and that your tomorrow is even better.

‘Til next time

~Heidi

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